Nancy
還有
Anna Sui
2013年10月30日 星期三
You are next!
This Polak came home one day from work, hung up his coat,
took off his hat and walked into his bedroom shouting "honey I am home!"
What should he see but his best friend in bed with his wife.
Infuriated, he rushed to the cupboard, pulled out his gun and put it to his
head.
His wife started laughing.
"Don't laugh!" he screams. "You're next!"
took off his hat and walked into his bedroom shouting "honey I am home!"
What should he see but his best friend in bed with his wife.
Infuriated, he rushed to the cupboard, pulled out his gun and put it to his
head.
His wife started laughing.
"Don't laugh!" he screams. "You're next!"
Pain
A woman went to see a doctor. "Doctor, I'm in terrible pain."
"Show me where," the doctor said.
The woman put her fingers on her arm, "ohhh, right there."
Then she put her finger on her chest, "Argggh, right there."
Then she put her finger on her stomach, "Owww, right there."
The doctor looked at her, "You're not by any chance Polish, are you?"
"Why, yes," she replied. "Why?"
"You've got a broken finger."
"Show me where," the doctor said.
The woman put her fingers on her arm, "ohhh, right there."
Then she put her finger on her chest, "Argggh, right there."
Then she put her finger on her stomach, "Owww, right there."
The doctor looked at her, "You're not by any chance Polish, are you?"
"Why, yes," she replied. "Why?"
"You've got a broken finger."
Poland Scientist
Poland sent its top team of scientists to attend the international science
convention, where all the countries of the world gathered to compare their
scientific achievements and plans.
The scientists listened to the United States describe how they were another
step closer to a cure for cancer, and the Russians were preparing a space
ship to go to Saturn, and Germany was inventing a car that runs on water.
Soon, it was the Polish scientists' turn to speak.
"Well, we are preparing a space ship to fly to the sun."
This, of course was met with much ridicule.
They were asked how they planned to deal with the sun's extreme heat.
"Simple, we're going at night!"
convention, where all the countries of the world gathered to compare their
scientific achievements and plans.
The scientists listened to the United States describe how they were another
step closer to a cure for cancer, and the Russians were preparing a space
ship to go to Saturn, and Germany was inventing a car that runs on water.
Soon, it was the Polish scientists' turn to speak.
"Well, we are preparing a space ship to fly to the sun."
This, of course was met with much ridicule.
They were asked how they planned to deal with the sun's extreme heat.
"Simple, we're going at night!"
Road Work
A Polak is hired to paint the lines on the road.
On the first day he paints ten miles, and his employers are amazed.
But, the second day he painted just five,
and on only the third day, he painted only a mile of the road.
Disappointed his boss asks what the problem was.
The Polak replies,
"Well sir, every day I have to walk farther and farther
to get back to the paint bucket."
On the first day he paints ten miles, and his employers are amazed.
But, the second day he painted just five,
and on only the third day, he painted only a mile of the road.
Disappointed his boss asks what the problem was.
The Polak replies,
"Well sir, every day I have to walk farther and farther
to get back to the paint bucket."
Three men
Three men are traveling in the Amazon, a German, an American, and a Polak,
and they get captured by some Amazons.
The head of the tribe says to the German, "What do you want on your back for
your whipping?"
The German responds, "I will take oil!"
So they put oil on his back, and a large Amazon whips him 10 times.
When he is finished the German has these huge welts on his back, and he can
hardly move.
The Amazons haul the German away, and say to the Polak,
"What do you want on your back?"
"I will take nothing!" says the Polak, and he stands there straight and takes
his 10 lashings without a single flinch.
"What will you take on your back?" the Amazons ask the American.
He responds, "I'll take the Polak!"
and they get captured by some Amazons.
The head of the tribe says to the German, "What do you want on your back for
your whipping?"
The German responds, "I will take oil!"
So they put oil on his back, and a large Amazon whips him 10 times.
When he is finished the German has these huge welts on his back, and he can
hardly move.
The Amazons haul the German away, and say to the Polak,
"What do you want on your back?"
"I will take nothing!" says the Polak, and he stands there straight and takes
his 10 lashings without a single flinch.
"What will you take on your back?" the Amazons ask the American.
He responds, "I'll take the Polak!"
Turn Signal
An English guy is driving with a Polish guy as his passenger, when he decides
to pull over because he suspect that his turn signal may not be working.
He asks the Polish guy if he doesn't mind stepping out of the car to check
the lights while he tests them.
The Polish guy steps out and stands in front of the car.
The English guy turns on the turn signal and asks, "Is it working?"
To which the Polish guy responds, "Yes, it's working....No, it's not
working...Yes, it's working....No, it's not working...."
to pull over because he suspect that his turn signal may not be working.
He asks the Polish guy if he doesn't mind stepping out of the car to check
the lights while he tests them.
The Polish guy steps out and stands in front of the car.
The English guy turns on the turn signal and asks, "Is it working?"
To which the Polish guy responds, "Yes, it's working....No, it's not
working...Yes, it's working....No, it's not working...."
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